How can we use environment and circumstance to adopt the most appropriate negotiation behaviors?
This article was written with the help of Vince Brook, a Principal at The Gap Partnership.
In a previous article, I considered birth order theory and how that could impact negotiation behaviors. This got me thinking about how much of our personality is learnt and how much determined by our genes - the classic nature versus nurture debate.
It's an interesting consideration particularly in the context of how much different behaviors can be "taught". How much is it reasonable to expect a person to be able the change their default response to any given situation? Can one learn to "become someone else" or are we constrained by the personality we were born with?
Nature vs. Nurture in Negotiation
The debate over nature vs. nurture has been going on for centuries, and there is no easy answer. However, when it comes to negotiation, there are some clear ways in which both nature and nurture can play a role.
Some people are simply born with certain personality traits that make them better negotiators. These traits might include things like confidence, assertiveness, and the ability to read people. Of course, these traits can be developed over time, but they do seem to have a genetic component.
Our upbringing also plays a big role in how we negotiate. If we grow up in a family where negotiation is valued, we are more likely to be comfortable with it and to have the skills necessary to be successful. On the other hand, if we grow up in a family where conflict is avoided, we may be less likely to be good at negotiation.
The Environment
The environment in which a negotiation takes place can also have a big impact on the outcome. For example, if the negotiation takes place in a hostile environment, the parties are more likely to become defensive and less likely to reach a mutually beneficial agreement.
How to Use Nature and Nurture to Your Advantage
If you want to be a successful negotiator, you need to be aware of both your natural tendencies and the way your upbringing has shaped your approach to negotiation. Once you understand these factors, you can start to develop strategies that will help you overcome your weaknesses and capitalize on your strengths.
For example, if you are naturally shy, you might want to practice your negotiation skills in a safe environment, such as with a friend or family member. You can also try to learn more about the other party's interests so that you can build rapport and create a more collaborative atmosphere.
Ultimately, the best way to be a successful negotiator is to be flexible and adaptable. You need to be able to adjust your approach based on the situation and the other party involved.
The nature vs. nurture debate is a complex one, but there is no doubt that both factors play a role in negotiation. By understanding your own natural tendencies and the way your upbringing has shaped your approach to negotiation, you can start to develop strategies that will help you be more successful.
Here are some additional tips for using nature and nurture to your advantage in negotiation:
Be aware of your own personality traits and how they might affect your negotiation style.
Learn about the other party's personality traits and how they might affect their negotiation style.
Adapt your negotiation style to the situation and the other party involved.
Be flexible and willing to compromise.
Be prepared to walk away from a negotiation if necessary.
By following these tips, you can increase your chances of success in any negotiation.
