On Thursday, March 28, Proctor & Gamble announced a new product that finally brings together the world of cleansing mouthwashes and America's favorite pork product: sizzling bacon. Imagine, if you will, the cleaning power of Proctor & Gamble's Scope mouthwash combined with the flavorful taste of sweet, sweet bacon.
That Proctor & Gamble would decide to release Bacon Scope in stores next week makes sense: Bacon as a flavor has become quite the craze, with even bacon cupcakes and a wide array of other uses for the porky goodness that are no longer reserved only for breakfast or British sandwiches.
Allegedly there are now even bacon-flavored condoms that should "make porking more fun and safe."
There's only one problem with the concept of Bacon Scope: We may love bacon, and we may even be tempted to try out bacon-flavored mouthwash ... but if we check the odd timing of Proctor & Gamble announcing the product three days before April Fool's Day, we realize this might just be a sugary smokescreen.
Joke's on us?
According to the product site for Bacon Scope, the mouthwash will not leave your mouth or breath smelling of bacon (even though the mouthwash itself will taste like bacon when you swish). Somehow, Bacon Scope will leave your breath "smelling minty fresh 5 times longer than brushing alone."
Which, to us, sounds a little impossible. How can something that tastes of bacon in your mouth make that same mouth smell minty fresh? Five times more so than brushing, no less? Exactly what kind of alchemical tomfoolery are those wacky scientists at Proctor & Gamble performing over there, anyway?
Further (alleged) FAQs — which all make us think P&G is having a bit of fun with the world — include whether or not Bacon Scope is a suitable replacement for breakfast (Nope: Bacon Scope has "zero nutritional value"), whether you should use Bacon Scope before or after breakfast (after, of course) and even whether or not any pigs were harmed in the making of Bacon Scope (nope: it's synthetic, but a "perfectly healthy synthetic flavoring").
Bacon Scope may kill "99.9 % of bad breath germs" while tasting of bacon, but it sounds to us like 100 percent bull.
Watch the promotional video and see for yourself. April Fool's or not, it's pretty piggin' funny.
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